Im gonna be stronger after this rain. He has a new girlfriend already, so fast aint it? He just told me he loved me more den her on saturday, bt now? He is hers already. I dont know if he said he loved me more just to console me or wad, but i aint gonna shed a tear for him anymore. Deep down im sad, i know that. I just cannot accept the fact that he has changed, changed so fast tht i cant even react. Marcus, why say you love me when you dont anymore? you are putting me thru so much pain ! Here i am, heart aching and tears rolling but you are out there having fun with your new girl. What do you regard me as? Some toy that you have already played finish with? Put yourself in my shoes and think how you would feel if i were you ! How can you be so heartless? One moment you are telling me you love me, the other moment, you turn your whole back on me and tell another girl you love her? I cant believe you are treating me this way now. I really dont know who you are anymore. My friends keep saying that they cannot believe we aint tgt anymore, I myself also cannot believe it. We were okay on friday morning, why suddenly all this? You really bear to see me like this? Hais.. Im so sure, that even if you come back to me, i`ll gladly accept you back, but now? Im not sure if you would even turn back and tell me you love me again. Why are you so cruel to me? When my period wasnt here, you still didnt mind contacting me, but once it came, you set your mind at ease and go all the way out to another girl, throwing me behind all alone. Why had happened to us? I know that i send you a very harsh msg after i knew about you & her, but you gotta know how much you have hurt me! I dont even mean it and i said it bcos i was so upset, so disappointed. I tot we still had a chance. Hais..I know i gotta face up to reality, i know that someday, i gotta see your photo&hers up in friendser, i know i gotta see you putting that you love her instead of me, but i really cant accept the fact that that girl you care for and love now was actually supposed to be me. I cant accept the fact tht when i see you in the streets holding another girl`s hand, it was actually supposed to be me and not her. Hais.. guess this is really the end.

Love From 26March05`- 9 Febuary 07`. -End of Story-

**This is kinda random but I think im gonna pierce my nose one of this days. Shall see how. I am feeling so much pain that im so numb.. Hais.. I`ve totally lost my apppetite, from friday to now, i`ve only ate so little. Nvm, can take this chance to lose weight and look like a little small girl. Hais.. Nvm. Sammie is a strong girl, she will come out of this a much stronger one. I will edit this blog`s template one day, or i might just delete this whole thing all tgt. See how luhs. One day, when ive got enough courage, i will delete all our memories away from my phone.

Marcus, just so you know, i dont hate you after what you`ve done to me. I still love you as much as i did when we were tgt. I miss you so much but i guess you dont miss me anymore. If i have the chance to be back tgt with you, tell me, i will want you back cos baby i really love you so so much. I am very disappointed with your love for me but its fate if this had to happen. If i had treated you better and cherished you more, this might not have happened. I really hope that the love you have with that girl is just a crush. Im sure baby that if you come back to me, i`ll really treat you good like the old sammie you used to love so much. I talked to my crush just now and she told me, that that time when we quarrelled at PS and you pushed me off the daytona car and i ran away, you called my crush and told her to tell me you really liked me. I was really so touched i was at the verge of crying. Now i know what is meant by one would only how to cherish after he has lost something. I love you. You know my momma bought your favourite fruit nugget? The ones that we always eat. Just looking at the box makes me wanna cry but i know you dont want me to cry so im gonna be a strong girl. When i was in my uncle`s car and we drove past 401, the memory of us walking there late at night flashed in my mind, the backview of you queuing at golden rooster to buy your 'SPLING CKN' also flashed in my mind. You really look so darn cute whe you say 'SPLING CHICKEN' and smile like a lil boy. Hais.. Owells, do remember to take good care of yourself, dont smoke so much, remember to eat your meals and dont get yourself into fights or unnecessary trouble ok? And promise me that no matter what, you will not throw tort tort away. I will keep the necklace you gave me properly and will wait till the day you put it back on for me. Hope that you`ll never forget me as the girl who was once your little girl and little black ants (Hei Se Ma Yi). I will also miss you and i`ll never forget you this cute little purple mouse! ("Dont be irritating purple mouse! Squeak Squeak! ")and i`ll always rmb our conversation the past few days..

Me: Good night dear. Im going to cover myself in soil. Hehe
You: No, cover yourself in ants blanket.
Me: I lie in your sardine can with you?
You: Okay, i got leave space for you, hehe.
Me: Yay! But what if you squash me to death?
You: Dont be irritating ah! Go and sleep ok? Cover youself with ants blanket
Me: Hehe. Okay, good night baby. Love you lots muack bye bye
You: Good night. Love you lots too muack bye bye, Squeak squeak, squeakaroo, squeakanoo!

you remember this conversation? hahs. I am sure gonna miss your squeaking. Hais.. alrights,meanwhile, i will cherish every single memory we shared tgt be it happy or sad times. =) I love you lots boy. Muack. So i guess this is it eh? Hais..Its really hard to say goodbye. Im not gonna cry anymore, im gonna be a strong girl and await your return.